Subject: Boyfriend 5.0

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBZ 3.0. conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail. Signed, 'Desperate'

Dear Desperate: Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: >C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad
program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 5.0 and Lingerie 3.0. Signed, Tech Support

February 13th.Cincinnati, Ohio, Radio broadcast with Maureen McCullough, WSAI 1530, 11:30pm EST, callers welcome, (888) 422-7701.

" I live in a very isolated rural area near a lake with two loving companions, 'Khadji, an afghan and my other dog Grizwold.

Afghans are not known for their intelligence. However, this is my story about a particular day that proved that belief false.

Khadji was one year old. Grizwold and Khadji were outside playing in the snow. Our family had just recently moved to the new home on the lake and we were unaware of how dangerous it would prove to be. The lake water was just beginning to freeze and the ice wasn't as solid as it appeared to be.

While in the kitchen fixing dinner, a loud, crashing sound comes from our sliding door. I rush over to see if it is broken and there she stands. Khadji! She sees me and runs off. When I don't pay attention she again runs into the glass door, watches me, then runs away. She does this three times. Very upset, I open the sliding door, scolding her while I chase her through the yard. She leads me to the lake and proceeds to walk out onto the ice. I follow, quickly realizing that the ice is cracking underneath my feet. Frightened that Khadji may fall through the ice, I beg her to come to me. She ignores me. Instead, she dances excitedly about in a circle, barking.

It is getting dark quickly and I can hardly see. Finally I noticed that what she is dancing about isn't ice but water. There is something dark, it is moving and bobbing above the ice. I can almost make it out. It has a black nose and long snout of some kind of animal. My heart pounds with fear when I realize it is my beloved Grizz. I have to
think quickly.

We were building a deck and some 2 by 8's were still lying by the lake's edge. Quickly I grab one, place it on the lake bank's edge, extending it as far out as I can on the ice. I step on the edge of the board, carefully making my way so the other end will dip down into the dark, watery hole Grizz is in. If I'm lucky, I can grab Grizz and pull him out. Hypothermia takes only 6 minutes to stop all muscle movement and I was hoping my dog hadn't been in the water too long.

I can hear the weight of the board cracking the ice. As the far end dips into the icy waters, Grizz's paws grips its surface, enabling me to grab him and lift him out of danger. Both Grizz and I jump to safety off of the sinking board. Khadji jumps with us.

Carrying Grizz home, we put him into a tub of warm water, drying and wrapping him up in warm towels, then put him in front of the warmth of the fireplace. We stay with him all night. Khadji lay right next to him, checking him frequently to be sure he is all right

The next morning, we take Grizz to the vet. Amazingly he has no frostbite or effects from hypothermia. Khadji, our afghan, had saved his life by risking her own. Are Afghans dumb? I don't think so!"
Submitted by CD Winters, Washington

Have a magnificent day and remember: "You Are The Master Of Your Fate, The Captain Of Your Soul".

Donna Seebo, P.O. Box 97272, Tacoma, WA 98497-0272
Delphi International & Mrs. Seebo's Classic's
www.delphiinternational.com
seeclassics@juno.com
(253) 582-5604 or (800) 872-8852 Fax(253)582-5597